A Very Sad Valentines Day

I had planned to post a very cheery Valentines post to everyone in blog land.. Sure, I'm single, but any excuse to celebrate is always a good thing in my opinion.. So I get up this morning and my Mom tells me that Nicole Howard has died.. She's the daughter of a fellow member of our church.. I of coarse was heart broken for him, and his family.. He's a wonderful man and I really felt for him and regreted his loss.. My mom wanted me to sign into my Facebook account so she could see a picture of Nicole, to see if she recognized her.. She's a Deacon in our church and thought Nicole may have visited us some Sunday in the past.. So there I am signing into my Facebook, and on my home page is a group started in Nicole's memory.. I click on the page and up comes the beautiful face of one of my coworkers.. A girl who I often would stop to chat with and whom only two days before had been grinning and waving at me as she passed by my department.. I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach.. How can this beautiful young life be over so quickly?? She had been going down the stairs to her basement.. She must've stepped wrong because she fell, something that has happened to all of us at some point in our lives.. Only for her, it would be a fatal fall.. Her life over, just like that.. I can't help but wonder what must've gone through her head as it happened, which is something we should never wonder.. So instead I'm going to remember that beautiful smile and cheery spirit.. Farewell, Nicole, we'll miss you!

I'm sad!! :-)

So, I just found out that this boy I had/have a major crush on has a girlfriend!!! Stinky boy!!!! Bahhhh.. Now, he could just be a really nice person, but I could've swore there was a little chemistry there.. So yeah, not a HUGE deal, just disappointing.. It's fun to have a crush and to get excited about someone, and I feel kinda let down.. I still see him everyday at work, and I'm still nice and stuff, but I'm not going to be *as* nice.. lol!! Boys suck!!!! He's so dreamy too, he's got dark skin and hair, and these bright blue eyes.. (I'm seriously sighing here, just thinking about him.. Grrr..).. Anyway, that's why I'm sad..

On a brighter note my WI was today and I was down 2 pounds.. I really wasn't expecting a loss this week, so I was pleasently surprised..

I have the day off tomorrow, so I'll spend some time catching up on your blogs!! Hope everyone is having a great week so far! :-)

I Won!!

So, a few weeks ago at work, the stores' manager asked me if I would be willing to be a nominee for the health and safety board.. The voting was to take place over a 3 week period.. I had secretly been thinking about the postition, but didn't say anything, so I accepted right away.. I was really flattered, but didn't expect to win.. I was up against 3 other store employees' all of whom had been there at least twice as long as me.. So yesterday I'm at work and I get a call from the owner of the store telling me that I'd won!! I'm so pleased!! So I'm now a member of the Health and Safety board.. Yay!! lol!! I don't plan on staying at my job forever, but I do plan to do the best job I can while I'm there.. Also, I figure something like this, along with being in customer service will look great on a resume someday..

Today is a much needed day off for me.. I plan on staying in my PJ's the majority of the day, and I'm thinking about getting into some Buffy here in a little while.. lol!! We're supposed to get up to 10 cm of snow today, so it's a good day to be snuggly and warm inside.. Hope everyone is having a great Thursday!! :-)

BOOOO-YAHHH!!!

I am SOOO frickin' stoked!!! I'm exhausted and had a super long day at work, but I HAD to come and post this! I was down 4 lbs again this week!! I am rockin' it!!! Well, for now anyway.. lol!! This WI makes it a month that I've been back OP, and in that month I haven't gone over in points even once.. I'm super proud of myself, I've never done this well on the program before.. I know it isn't bound to last forever, there are always hard weeks and I'm ready for them!! Now I'm off to pig out on Hot and Sour Soup.. ((happy dancin'))

Auughh..

Sorry I've been so quiet lately.. Work's been killing me!!! I get home and I'm just too tired to even think about what to write.. Okay, so being on your feet for 9 hours a day on a concrete-type floor is gonna be a killer for anyone.. But I'm carrying two freaking people here!! And no one at work seems to understand that.. Mind you, I doubt any of them have ever been fat.. I get home and I literally cannot walk.. Well, I can, it just takes me a good couple of minutes of moving incredibly slow before I can walk normally.. Most people would probably quit, save themeselves the pain, and the embarassement of knowing why that pain is there.. Not me.. Even though I'm frustrated beyond belief with my job, I refuse to leave it.. Why?? Because I spend the majority of most days on my feet and moving around.. Eventually I'd love a desk job, or even something a little less hectic, but for now working my sometimes crappy job is condusive to my weight loss.. Long story short, I'm sorry I don't post more, and I'm sorry I don't follow your blogs as closely as I'd like to.. But just cuz I'm not here everyday, doesn't mean I'm not kicking ass, or thinking about how you're doing.. Thank you to the people who keep checking in on my erratic blogging!!! lol!! love and hugs!!! xoxo

Another Day, Another Weigh In..

I am extremely pleased to announce that I had another good weigh in this week.. Actually, I'm thrilled to say is probably more accurate.. hehe.. I was down 4 lbs this week!!!! Goooooo meeeee!!! :-) I know it only adds up to being 7 lbs altogther, but screw that!! I'm friggin' stoked!! lol!!

I have tommorrow and Thursday off work.. I am SO excited! I'll have lots of time to blog, and to just relax.. I do have a meeting tomorrow afternoon though, so I think I'm going to head in early and do some grocery shopping.. The kind where you actually stop and take the time to look at new things, (Sarah's shopping trip from the other day inspired me.. Thanks!!).. I'm excited to see if I can find some fun new things..

I'm a horror movie fanatic.. Zombies are my personal favorite.. I even have these crazy dreams where it's like Dawn of the Dead, and Zombies are taking over the world (or at least my world).. The craziest thing about these dreams?? I LOVE them!! lol!! It's like the best kind of horror movie in the world, up close and really, could it get anymore personal?? Love it.. So I bought The Invasion today at work.. It's with Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig.. It's more about aliens I think, than Zombies, but whatevs', if there's a chance it'll scare me, I'm into it.. Anyway, I hope it's good! I never saw the original so at least I don't know what happens..

Can't WAIT for the Biggest Loser tonight!! I find it so inspiring.. I went on to EBay the other day to see if I could buy previous seasons because I find watching it really helps me.. They had EVERY Biggest Loser workout under the sun, but no seasons of the show.. What's up with that crap?? Grrr... Anyway, I'm totally cheering for the blue couple, the ones who just met before the show.. I can actually see them hooking up afterwards! lol!! GOO Blue!!! :-)

Chinese Food

During my previous 'attempts' to loose weight on the Weight Watchers program, I never ate Chinese food.. I always figured that it would be WAY too high in points for me unless I used all my points, and I usually saved that pleasure for pizza.. Recently a friend and I got together for her birthday lunch and she wanted Chinese food.. I saved all my flex points, and the majority of my daily points for this meal, thinking it would be stupendous.. As I was eating I kept an eye on my serving sizes so I could check the points out later at home.. I was SHOCKED to see that my entire 'splurge meal' come to a whopping 14 points!! Okay, for some of you who are eating a lower amount of points per day due to their KICKASS weightloss, 14 may seem like a lot.. I get to eat 33 points a day, so this was a normal meal for me, well, close to one anyway. I was amazed! Then last night, I decided to have it again, I had lots of flex and daily points left for it.. I pigged out!! I got the hot and sour soup (this one shocked me the most!! 1 cup = 2 pts!!!), I got chinese noodles, singapore style with nothing but the noodles (3/4 c = 3pts), steamed rice (1/2 c = 2pts), chinese veggies with seafood (1 c = 4pts) and a veggie spring roll (3pts).. Is this not insane?? Okay, so the best part?? I woke up this morning and stepped on the scale, just to check out the damage (I have a couple of days left before weigh in), and I was down!!! I'm gonna eat Chinese ALL the time!!!! :-)

Another WI day!

Just down 1 lb this week.. Not as much as I would've liked, but any step down the scale is a step in the right direction, right?? For dinner tonight I'm treating myself to one of my higher-point meals, my burritos.. I LOVE them.. I've cut out the guacamole though.. It's not too bad in small quantities, point wise, but I don't really have any points to spare with this meal.. So guac is a very, very special treat these days.. I had an exhausting day at work today, so I'm going to keep this really short.. I have Thursday and Friday off this week, which rocks, I'll actually have some nice blog time! Can't wait! :-)

Happy Monday!!

I SOOO don't wanna go to work today!!! But I keep telling myself that it's better to go to work and be busy then to sit on the couch all day.. But oh how fun it would be to just be able to sit and blog all day, I have SO much to catch up on with all you guys!! Thanks so much for the supportive welcome back! I'm constantly astounded by how awesome all of you are.. Your support means SOOO much!!

I only have a minute before I have to go, but I wanted to mention this great salad dressing I tried on Friday.. It's a Kraft Signature dressing, Roasted Red Pepper with Parmesan.. I was surprised how much lower in calories it is than some of my calorie-wise dressings.. It was 0 pts for 1 tbsp, 1 pt for 1 tbsp, and so on.. Only 20 calories and 1 gram of fat for 1 tbsp.. The best part about it is that it spreads really well through the salad, so you don't need much of it and it has a great taste.. If you haven't tried it already you should check it out!!!

Weight Loss Gum???

Not sure if any of you read about this in your morning papers, but I thought it was interesting and pretty thought provoking.. Apparently there is this gum, sugar free and made with sorbitol that causes involuntarily (at least up until now), weight loss.. The paper didn't publish the name of the gum, but with sorbitol being it's ingredient I can't imagine it would be difficult to find, wouldn't all gum with the same ingredient cause the same reaction? I have to think that there's a slightly universal amount of sugar or sugar substitute that is added to a stick of gum.. Anyway, I guess there are two cases, a male and a female, with no connection to each other, who both happen to have a fixation with chewing 18-20 sticks of gum a day. Over time both developed gastrointestinal problems and began to loose mass quanties of weight.. The woman, 21 and 114lbs, had abdominal pains lasting 8 months and lost 24 pounds.. The man, 46, developed diarrhea and bloating and lost 48 lbs over a year, a fifth of his body weight.. Neither changed their diets, or increased their exercise.. Wild, that just chewing gum could make that impact, but I guess it was documented previously that sorbitol could cause gastrointestinal problems..

The BIGGEST problem with all of this? The article was published in a British medical journal on Saturday, and already it's becoming an increasingly hot topic on websites supporting anorexia and other eating disorders, and is looking like it might become the next diet craze..

Now, being morbidly obese, I have to admit that a part of me thought, wow, I gotta git me somma that! lol!! Only for about 2 seconds though.. I know there are people who do basically the same thing by ingesting laxatives.. But would it not make them less 'guilty' of that type of purging if they were simply eating a few sticks of gum?? A part of me thinks that this gum should be pulled from the market, or at least it's producers should be forced to switch to another ingredient that doesn't cause so many problems.. Some would say that the people who are abusing the gum are mainly (hopefully), adults and should be responsible for themselves.. But if these adults are sick enough to starve themselves, couldn't it also be possible that they are unable to make a proper, healthy decision for themselves?

Ah, I could go on and on.. I'd love to hear what other people think about it, and I'm hoping there will be more articles on this subject in the future..

On a much lighter note, one of my best friends and myself are taking a shopping trip today.. I wish it were sunnier, but fun will be had nonetheless.. It's this little shop with all kinds of neat little things about half an hour away.. Should be fun. :-)

WI!!

Weigh in went well.. I was down 2 pounds.. I was a little disappointed though, stupidly.. I mean, 2 lbs is a great loss, one that I'd normally be thrilled to see!! But I've found previously that I usually have a bigger loss my first week on points.. I know, bodies' change and stuff, but I still expected a teeny bit more.. Ahh well, in all honesty I'm finding just being on the program again a reward in itself..

I'm SOO excited for dinner!! I'm having Knorr Three Mushroom sauce, with a pile of medium shrimp and some rotini whole wheat pasta.. It's one of my favorite meals.. I just mix the sauce mix with some skim milk and reduced fat margarine, it ends up being only two points for a fair amount of sauce!! It rocks.. I LOVE Knorr!

I have new weight loss motivation at work.. I work at a No Frills superstore, so it has all the housewares and outside stuff that a Loblaws would have.. Recently they expanded our clothing section and put in a whole new Joe Fresh section.. I love it!! BUT nothing fits me.. Well nothing except for the socks, slippers, mittens, you get where I'm going with this.. lol! Anyway, they keep getting all of these new shirts and jackets that I love and not a single thing will fit me.. The biggest size they have is an XL, and the clothes tend to fit on the smaller side.. GRRRRRRRRR!!! I will have me that pretty red top!!!!! :-)

Good to be back

I have officially been back on points for 7 days now, I am happy to say, although up until now I've kept it on the down low.. I guess I needed to make sure it was going to stick.. I'm not sure that anyone even reads my blog anymore, which is probably a good thing for the moment, since I'm a bit rusty at this.. I was shocked by how easy it was to get back on the program after being off of it for seven months.. I can't even believe I was off for that long!! I feel completely ashamed by that, and before you tell me I shouldn't, I think it's a pretty good motivator, it makes me want to work to make that feeling disappear.. So, tomorrow is my first weigh in, and I'm looking forward to it.. I'm thrilled to be back, and I feel amazingly positive about it..

Just in case anyone is still peaking in on my blog, I am thrilled to see how well some of my blog buddies are doing!! You guys kick ass!! I can't wait to catch up on what's been happening with all of you!! :-)

Quick Update

Hey, bloggers!!! Just a quick post to let you know that everything's good! I have lots of news to share with all of you! I'm just feeling a little under the weather at the moment.. I had an endometriosis flare up, so I'm taking a few days to be crampy and icky and then I'll be back at'er!! Missing you though!!! :-)

It's Relay Day!!! :-)

Today's the day!! I love the Relay, not only is it an amazing cause, but it's SO much fun! There are live bands all night, and Beaver Tails and chip wagons.. lol!! Okay, so no Beaver Tails or French Fries for me, but the band will be cool!! And everyone wears glow in the dark things.. Our team's motto for this year is "Say Anything", so everyone is to wear a tshirt that has a saying on it, like, shit happens or something like that.. Mine has a picture of Betty Boop and says, "I sold my soul for Rock and Roll" LOVE IT!! I'm gonna be the coolest chick there!!! hehe.. I'm also bringing a disposable camera so I can take pics to show you guys!! And in a little bit I'm heading to No Frills to pick up some veggie meat (talk about oxymoron), and some other low point snacks, as well as a little container of half and half cream. I figure it's better than Tim Hortons cream, and it's countable..

I don't have a whole lot of time today, so I'm gonna try to make it to your blogs but if I don't I'll catch up over the w/e! Oh, and no news yet on the appartment.. I'm pretty sure I didn't get it.. :-( I guess it just wasn't meant to be!

Thank Goodness!!

I woke up this morning, not only motivated (thanks again), but HAPPY to be on the program!! You know that content, positive feeling you get just from following and loving the program, that's what I got back!! Yay!! I honestly was starting to wonder if I would.. Sheesh.. Anyway, I feel like I'm 100% commited and that feels great!

No word yet about the appartment.. I work until 9pm tonight, and I bet I'll be nervous about it all afternoon and evening.. I wish he'd just call!! But I kinda have the feeling that I won't get it, mainly because I don't know why the other person wouldn't want to grab it right up!! Thanks for all the finger and toe crossing!! I'll let you know when I hear something!! :-)

A Quick Thanks..

I've been having one of those days where I'm not frustrated or anything, but maybe feeling a lil blah on the weightloss front.. Not that I'm quiting or anything, FAR from it, I just kind of feel like, damn am I ever going to get there?? So I read back through comments that all of you have left, especially over the last little bit with me not being around much.. You're supportive all the time, amazingly so, and I'm so thankful for all of you.. My motivation went from a 7 to a 10, just from reading words that you wrote, that's how much you guys rock!! THANK YOU! :-)

I made a few difficult decisions today regarding school and the move back to Kingston.. I'm still really unsure about what to do.. I'm really happy here too, and the other day at work I actually got a cash bonus for the good job that I'm doing.. Funny how hearing that made my job so much more enjoyable.. I don't think you can actually have fun doing anything that you think you might be doing badly, or at least that other people think you might be doing badly.. So that, combined with my uneasiness over my previous decision has made me decide to stay put, at least until next September.. I came to the conclusion that Kingston will still be there, the program is doing awesome, and isn't going anywhere and spending about $10 000 should involve a little more thought considering that could also be a down payment on a nice little house.. I just feel like I need more time..

The apartment that I've been wanting here in Renfrew just came available (which has nothing to do with my Kingston decision!), and I called the landlord tonight.. He had JUST shown it to some lady!! He said that he was sure she was going to take it, and that I should've called him yesterday.. How annoying is that?? He told me he'd keep me posted, and I'm pretty sure if she decided not to take it that he'd give it to me.. It's just so perfect and the gardens are awesome, big back yard and deck... I WANT IT!! lol!! So keep your fingers crossed for me, k? ~ xo

TaDaaaa!!!!

Can you believe it?? Two days in a row!! Darn I'm good.. hehe.. I've had a loooonng day and I'm sleepy, so I'm feeling crazy silly right now.. I'm also feeling silly because of the scale experience I just had.. So yesterday I weighed myself, it was my 1st whole day back OP and the scale said 246.. Even typing that number makes me puke in my mouth a lil bit (sorry, that's a little crass but that's really how bad it made me feel seeing that number!).. Anyway, today I weighed myself and I was at 237!! Weird, eh?? Now, I posted yesterday that I thought most of that number was water retention and other stuff, but it seems like quite a jump to me.. I was just happy, and breathing a huge sigh of relief to see a somewhat normal number again.. It also made me realize how much I NEVER want to be there again!

That's it for today!!!!!!!

Oh, one more thing;


hehehe..

Ohhhhh, My Gawd!

Okay, so I'm back at it again.. It's cool because it wasn't a decision I made, it was something I felt I had to do.. My eating has just been way out of control and I totally feel 'puffy'.. Not to mention the 16 pounds I've somehow managed to pile back on *groan*.. I'm sure most of it is water retention and BM issues, but still, I NEVER wanted to see *that* number on the scale again!! Grrrr..

Why can't this be easier? I'm seriously not mad at myself.. I mean, I'm a little disappointed, but shit happens and I'm over it.. What's important is that I've been back OP all day today and that hopefully it'll stay that way.. I just have to figure out how I can make more time for blogging and for keep up with you guys, because that is what truly makes the difference for me, all of you and being able to keep up with you and stuff..

Thanks for all your supportive posts about going back to school! It's hard, but it needs to be done, and I'm not 'that' old right?? hehe..

I'm sorry if my gaps in posting has made any of you think I was planning on pulling a Houdini, that WILL NOT happen again! Time just got away on me is all, but I've been getting more regular days off now that I don't have to cover shifts for others, and we have a new girl in at work..

I'm doing the Relay for Life this Friday!! I'm looking forward to it but I'm a bit nervous.. My leg is much better now, but that'll be pushing it.. Maybe that's a good thing though? Maybe I need to push it a little beyond what I have already to get that extra confidence in it.. Anyway, I'm looking forward to it, but the eating part will be REALLY hard! Not sure what I'll do yet as far as points.. Maybe just allow myself all the coffee I want, but everything else has to be on points.. But then I'm also walking around a track on and off for the entire night so that's gotta count for lots of AP's, right?? I'll figure something out I'm sure.. lol!

Frustrated

I cannot believe that it's been 12 days since I've blogged!!! That's almost 2 weeks!! Wtf?? lol! Seriously it feels like it's been a week or something.. I'm getting pretty frustrated with my job.. It's like I'm tired ALL the time! And it's messing with some of my relationships because after having people complain to you all day the very last thing you feel like doing is talking to more people! I know there's a difference, between bitchy customers and loving friends, but it's almost like my brain turns to mush the second I walk out of there! Which has brought me to my week of contemplation.. There's very little else for me to do where I'm living.. There isn't a college, there's factory work, but working on an assembly line isn't something that would make me happy.. And that's what I'm looking for in all this, happiness, and also the ability to support myself comfortably.. So yesterday, after realizing that I can't do this job forever, I applied to Esthetics at St. Lawrence college in Kingston.. I'd taken it before but was unable to finish my placement hours because of illness (long story).. So I know I'll enjoy it, it's a 10 month program and it's in a city that is home to me, where my bestfriend lives.. So keep your fingers crossed for me!! I haven't completely decided yet, I just kind of reached a breaking point and needed to make a move in a positive direction.. I feel badly for not including all of you in my thoughts over this, but I'm the type that closes up when faced with a difficult decision or situation..

On to the weight thing.. The frustration is here too!! There's something about the nice weather that sends my decipline flying out the window!! lol!! So that's definitly something I need to get back under control, especially if I'm going back to school, I'm gonna need me some confidence!!!

Oh, and the big thing that was going on the last time I posted was a baby shower!! One of my bestfriends is expecting in early July, so my other bf and I threw her a bigass baby shower!!! That's why I wasn't around much during that time, every day off was spent planning or shopping.. I'm SOO glad it's over, and also glad that it went so well!! :-) I'll see about posting some pics soon!!

Hope you're all doing well! I miss you all so much! :-(

Finally a Day Off!!!!

Hey, guys!!! It feels like forever since I've posted! I hate work.. It stinks.. I'm sorry I've been so busy! I haven't been to your blogs at all lately!! I can tell you tomorrow another reason why I've been so busy, but until then it's top secret!! You'll understand why when I tell you, which actually probably won't be until Sunday.. I was supposed to have it off too but now I have to work.. :-(

So WI was Thursday, and I was down 1 lb.. Not much but I'm happy with it because I haven't been eating the greatest.. I find that when I'm working this much and I'm just so tired all the time that it's hard to eat really well, anyway, I'm starting to get the hang of it! I swear though, that 1 lb is totally because of work and how busy I am while working.. That's reason enough to make me never wanna quit my job!! lol!! Or at least no time in the near future!!

So I have some silly pics for you guys!! They're of new accessories!! lol!! But yeah, I looked like hell at the time and I took the pics myself so beware!!!

This is a picture of my new, very yummy, sunglasses! They're made by Juicy Couture.. They were regularily $155.00 + tax, but because my Mom used to work there and my Aunt still does (Thank you Aunt Debbie!! xo) I got them for $115.00.. They're delicious, I'm madly in love with them!!

Another pic of my sunglasses.. Nice face, eh? I have NO idea what I'm trying to do with my mouth.. lol!

My new hat!! I normally look AWFUL in hats! Actually I've never worn one for that reason.. They always look big and clumsy on me, and with my tiny forehead they just never fit right..

Well I gots me a kids hat, and it works!! lol!! Yay!!! This one is army green and has the word Girl in grey with little rhinestones on the words.. hehehe..

Another hat pic.. Really dark though, sorry! :-(

Here's the last pic, one of my new tattoo, my Luna Moth.. I love it, SOOO much.. But after I took these pictures I noticed that he screwed it up!! I don't know if you can notice it. I'm trying to decide how to handle it, if I should phone them and tell them I want it fixed.. I've never been in this position before!!! :-( Oh, and it does look a little unbalanced right now because of the way I had to move my arm to take the picture, it's normally not that messed up! Just, one wing is a little closer to it's body thank the other.. But both wings are the same size (I know they don't look like it here though!) That's why I'm making the funny mouth again, cuz it's a weird position..

And I should have more pics after tomorrow!! I tried on some clothes today, shirts, that didn't fit before that were tight around the spare tire, and they fit!! I was shocked!! So tomorrow I'm wearing my new size 2o+ jean capri's (I started at a 24+), and a new pretty white shirt.. I'm psyched! I love when stuff is looser!! I hope everyone is having a great weekend!!!