My Time to Blossom: Frustration..

Monday, March 12, 2007

Frustration..

I tend to be one of those people who hates discussing negative things.. I hate bringing other people down, or even just the risk of bringing them down.. Stupid, I know.. Like I have 'that' much influence over anyone elses' life.. For me it's always been about having fun all the time, at all costs.. Which is probably why I'm humungo.. So for the last few days I've been avoiding dealing with some frustrations.. I've mentioned them in comments to some of the other bloggers, but never really dealt with why I was feeling frustrated.. So now I am..

I have been pigging out!! Seriously, I've been eating and eating.. I'll be full, and I still eat!! All within my points.. Well, Thursday was my WI and I have 13 flex points left.. The problem is that I'm eating bad things.. Like in one day I'll have 5 WW cakes.. Or for dinner I'll have 17 pt burritos.. So am I following plan, yes, technically.. But not the way I should be.. And I've known it.. I guess this is better than what I'd usually do which is just go off plan altogether.. Still, I'm a scale junkie.. I weigh myself during the week so I can see what needs to be done before WI.. I haven't lost anything yet this week.. And yeah, I'm being a little tough on myself here, but that's how I roll..

So yesterday when I was trying on those jeans and setting new goals, I had a moment where I felt that giving up feeling, like I'll never reach that goal.. And it kinda lite a fire under my ass and made me want to do better.. When I'm at work I'm crazy busy, always on my feet, always running from one place to another.. My best WI weeks are always right after I've had a week with lots of hours at work.. But because I run around so much at work, and because I'm SOO not used to being on my feet for that amount of time each day, I've been neglecting any and all exercise.. When I get home I'm just too tired.. Now our hours have been cut back a little bit, so I'm not working as much, so I'm not seeing the losses I was seeing when I first started.. So I'm feeling frustrated, and eating more.. Stupid girl.. lol!! So today, I pulled my lip back up from the ground and stopped feeling sorry for myself.. I've eaten well all day, did some productive shopping, and even got onto the eliptical for a good 20 minute, 2/km burn.. I've made the commitment to exercise EVERY day off I have.. When I get used to working I'll up it to exercising even on the days I work.. I've also commited to getting my eating back under control..

So this is me fessing up to my human-like feelings, and it's me being accountable for my actions, and the way those actions will be changing..

7 comments:

marie said...: and this is me smiling at you for being so brave, writing this entry and making a plan to commit to becoming a healthier you :)

i wish you nothing but success in sticking to your new plan!; March 12, 2007 at 5:42 p.m.
Angela Power said...: You are one of the most supportive bloggers I've known. You deserve the same in return! You have got it together and that is not to be critiqued. You are just feeling frustrated and you are definately entitled! If I were to say that I was "eating and eating" the words "still on plan" and "still have flex left" would definitely not follow!

Please don't feel bad for being human. We ALL feel this way from time to time. The main thing is that you have already "picked your lip up" and ARE sticking to your plan that WILL INEVITABLY get you into your pants (and then out of them and into even smaller ones!)

*Hugs* to you hun...tomorrow's a new day.; March 12, 2007 at 7:43 p.m.
Amanda said...: we have all had those days! i've had days where i'm still within my points but i haven't even looked at a f&v and they have been spent on junk! i'm proud of you for being honest and telling us that you are struggling with that so we can be here for you and be supportive. and i'm so proud of you for hopping on the elliptical! before you know it you'll be an exercise addict! i always feel so good and have that extra energy after i've exercised even when i really don't feel like it. you'll get into a groove soon and you'll see those big losses again! like angie said, you are one of the most supportive bloggers so we are all here to support you!

(by the way, i found this page for the popcorn, hope it's what you were looking for http://www.dietfacts.com/list.asp?brand=kernels_popcorn; March 12, 2007 at 8:20 p.m.
jen999 said...: What would I do without you guys??? Honestly, you are the best group of girls EVER!! Talk about being supportive! I'm so lucky to have you!! Thank you so much for your encouragement and support!!

Hee hee, Angie, that sounded really funny, "get me into my pants" lol!!! *hugs* Thanks again, hun!

Amanda, thank you SO much for that link!! I didn't even realized until long after I'd posted that question to you on your blog that just because you use the becal spray doesn't mean you use the Kernals popcorn flavoring.. Duh! lol!!; March 12, 2007 at 8:54 p.m.
Sarah ♥ said...: Jen

This is seriously one of the best blog posts I've read in a LONG time. I have been struggling with the program this past week, too, and I know how hard it can be to do what's right for your body when WW makes it a little too easy to 'screw up' but still be OP.

You have such a fantastic, positive attitude, I LOVE how happy you always are, and I really look forward to reading your posts on ww.ca and on my blog. My aunt thinks I spend to much time on the boards, but without them and my blog I would never make it to goal. I figure there are a lot worse things I could be doing when I'm bored than helping myself and reading great stories from great gals like you :)

Keep up the good work! Do you plan your meals in advance? I find that REALLY helps me big time! :)

If you ever need anything, feel free to email me or GSO me on the ww.ca boards! I'm here to support you :)

~Sarah; March 13, 2007 at 6:59 a.m.
Jen said...: Ok, the first thing I noticed is that while you said that you are eating and eating, you are eating things that are good for you!!! Or at least still fitting into WW, which means that you are doing amazing (which I already knew, but did you??).

Second, I find excersising REALLY hard to get into...I will be good for a while and then I will slip out of it...I am tired in the evenings (and I work at an office job - though I do alot when I get home) but sometimes I just tell myself to do it...and I do it (I don't necessarily enjoy it...I am waiting for it to become a habit!!!)

You are such a strong person and you are always supportive of everybody else, I see that you are doing the same for yourself which is AMAZING and I think it means that you are appreciating yourself, which you should because you are beautiful and wonderful (and funny as hell)...I wish I could give you a great big hug in person because I never feel as supportive to you as you are to me!

(BTW, I LOVE the new picture you added, you look gorgeous!!!)

*hug*
The Other Jen; March 13, 2007 at 10:13 a.m.
jen999 said...: Seriously, I love you guys so much!! Honestly I wish I you were all right here so I could squeeze the stuffins' out of each and every one of you!! I read your comments this morning before work, but didn't have time to respond.. You absolutely made my day!! I went to work feeling incredibly special and inspired.. Thank you all SOOO much!!!

Sarah, thank you SO much for your post!! I was hoping you'd come by my blog, I had no idea that on your first visit you'd be making me feel SO much better!! I really appreciate your support, and I hope you won't mind if I add you to my list of bloggers?? :-)

Jen, you rock, chick.. Seriously.. Thank you SO much for saying I'm doing amazing.. I can be really hard on myself, and your right, I usually think about what I'm not doing and not about what I am doing.. So thanks for pointing out that side of it for me.. Don't for a second think that you're not as supportive!! Heck, I think the same way as you, except it's me feeling like I'm never as supportive as you are!! lol!! I think we've got eachothers backs covered!! Thank you! *hugs*; March 13, 2007 at 6:35 p.m.